Gwenda

Hi! Time for some book stuff! The Frame-Up will be out SO SOON — February 13! I’m partnering with my local independent bookstore Joseph-Beth Booksellers for a fun preorder offer — you can get the book signed by me AND cover model Sally…or is it a forgery?

Go watch the video and decide! Many thanks to The Mischief Maker for her video assistance. (That is the FULL video, which is better than the short version instagram made me do!)

Order your copy for pick-up at the launch event 2/13 or for shipping straight to you.

Tour dates to come very soon! And if you prefer to order from your own indie bookstore, contact me and I’ll send a bookplate signed by us both to you. Please help to spread the word, if you would be so kind! And I know, I know, motivating to preorder is hard, but it is awesome and amazing and appreciated if you do and you won’t have to wait very long to get your book. More preorder links here.

Also got a great review from Library Journal: “The humorous banter of the characters will delight while readers try to puzzle out the mystery that slowly unspools… Hand Bond’s new crime caper fantasy (which follows her recent espionage-themed paranormal romance Mr. & Mrs. Witch) to readers who like their magic set in the real world or who enjoy heist novels based around a found-family crew.”

And, in case you’ve forgotten, here’s the about:

A magically gifted con artist must gather her estranged mother’s old crew for a once-in-a-lifetime heist, from the New York Times bestselling author of Stranger Things: Suspicious Minds.

“Romantic, clever, and makes grand larceny more fun than ever.”—Holly Black, New York Times bestselling author of Book of Night

Dani Poissant is the daughter and former accomplice of the world’s most famous art thief. There was no job too big for Maria and her loyal crew. The secret to their success? A little thing called magic, kept rigorously secret from the non-magical world. They seemed unstoppable . . . until a teenage Dani turned her mother over to the FBI.
 
Ten years later, with Maria still in prison, Dani finds herself approached for a job that only Maria and her crew could pull off . . . if any of them were still speaking to her. But it’s the job of a lifetime and might just be the lure Dani needs to reconcile with her mother and be reunited with her mother’s old gang—including both the love of her life and her former best friend.
 
The problem is, it’s an impossible task—even with the magical talents of the people she once considered family backing her up. It’s a heist that needs a year to plan, and Dani has just over a week. Worse, the more Dani learns, the more she understands that there’s far more at stake in this job than she ever realized.

Miscellaneous: I saw the soul reader from Midway AND had my astrological chart read (I was born on the full moon!), both interesting. I also got an awful cold and am still suffering from a lingering ear infection, BUT I’m writing again and my mom DOES NOT have breast cancer, so I’ll live.

And I subscribed to the Criterion Collection and my days of endless scrolling and dissatisfied movie abandonment seem to be over. I recommend it — and for you bookish types, the Turn Every Page documentary about editorial legend Robert Gottlieb and his author Bob Caro is on there (as are two Barbara Stanwyck Christmas movies!).

I hope the holidays treat you all well! More soon, and back to writing all the words,

Gwenda

Originally published on Substack.

I’m delighted DELIGHTED to share the wonderful cover for THE FRAME-UP, aka the magic heist book, today! Along with more information about it and some lovely advance praise (!!!).

And a little bit about the book!

Jacket illustration: Jill De Haan

Jacket design: Regina Flath

I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Also, who’s that dog? Her name is Sunflower, but she might be inspired by… SALLY!

And I’ve been amazingly blessed to have some early reads by people I consider total geniuses and…they…liked it???

PRAISE

“Between a sheepdog escape artist, a monstrous painting, a team of eccentric criminals, and the finest art thief ever to get her heart broken, The Frame-Up is tense, romantic, and clever and makes grand larceny more fun than ever before.”—Holly Black, New York Times bestselling author of Book of Night

“Ocean’s Eleven meets the Portrait of Dorian Grey in this delightful magical heist novel. A quirky cast, a charming protagonist, and a fantastic dog. Plus art history, monsters, and family secrets—who can ask for more?”—T. Kingfisher, bestselling author of Nettle & Bone

“The Frame-Up is Gwenda Bond at her absolute best: magical, romantic, and fun as hell. Dani and her crew will leave your pockets empty and your heart full.”—Alix E. Harrow, New York Times bestselling author

“A thrilling, twisty, deliciously fun portrait of a magical art heist. Gwenda Bond has crafted a clever Knives Out-but–with-magic book to keep readers guessing where the con will take them next.”—Megan Shepherd, New York Times bestselling author of Malice House

“A clever art heist, a smoldering old flame, an irresistible found family tied together through magic . . . Gwenda Bond’s The Frame-Up is a twisty, riveting, and fantastically original story.”—Elle Cosimano, New York Times bestselling author of Finlay Donovan Is Killing It

“Magic, mystery, and a daring art heist set the stage for Gwenda Bond’s twisty, delightful read! Brimming with secrets, danger, and intrigue, The Frame Up explores the lure of power, the bonds of friendship, and the legacy of family. Clever, suspenseful, and impossible to put down.”—Megan Miranda, New York Times bestselling author of The Only Survivors

“I love a good heist novel, and I love a good magical heist novel even more. Gwenda Bond’s The Frame-Up is fun and moving and full of delicious surprises and twists. I enjoyed it immensely.”—Kat Howard, author of the Unseen World duology

“Who knew magic and art heists would go together like chocolate and peanut butter? The Frame-Up is a thoroughly delightful whirlwind of a read.”—Alma Katsu, author of The Fervor

“An absolute joy to read from cover-to-cover. As a fan of shows like Leverage and Hustle, I love a good heist pulled off by a crew that is also a (found) family. Add a touch of magic, a mysterious family legacy, a touch of romance, and a Very Good Dog and what you get is a very entertaining novel with a little something for nearly every reader.”—Billie Bloebaum, Founder, Bookstore Romance Day

I mean INSERT INTERROBANG HERE.

How can YOU help? The book is out in February, and I left it all on the field this time. I really, really need this book to find its readers and do well. It’s a trade paperback original, so just $18 for the hard copy. So, my ask to you is please go preorder? I think it’s the best book I’ve ever written. And I’ll have info on how to get signed copies through Joseph-Beth Booksellers later, but for now, anywhere you get books is GREAT. Pre-sales really, really help. REALLY.

And I have been having a crappy year, so this is my one precious ask. Also, encourage your libraries to order, et cetera, and I will remind you again. But why not just go make with the clickety now? Give future you a heist-y present!

Preorder from:

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Books A Million

Bookshop.org

Hudson Booksellers

Powell’s

Target

Walmart

Thank you, thank you, dear readers! And, if you’re a reviewer/blogger/early reader type, the book is currently up on Edelweiss and Netgalley!

Now tell me, isn’t that cover great? And feel free to ask anything else you want to know! (Yes, it will be available in both ebook and audio.)

Over at Dear Reader, a weeklyish newsletter (and community). Always free.

Thanks so much to all of you who’ve already snagged Mr. & Mrs. Witch from your bookstore or library, and remember that reviews at the usual sites like Amazon or Goodreads or yelling enthusiastically on Insta or TikTok (or telling a human IRL!) are rad and a great way to support the book and your humble narrator.

I still have some fun things planned for promo, but have also been busy busy (running a nonprofit is time-consuming, who knew??? but the Lexington Writer’s Room just this morning hit 100 members and it’s so rewarding). And I’m working on the next witch book, which is the first book in the Wayward Sisters series, so my brain is deep in Regency England fantastical apothecary mode.

There’s also always this weird and ever-unpredictable emotional trajectory with any book release. The excitement and the absolute delight at readers who seem to 1000 percent have read the book you wanted to write, and the worry it won’t find enough of them! With about a tridozen more anxieties. The only thing to do is hope it finds its way and word of mouth, and…write the next book.

Anyway, if you missed it: the pub day post I wrote about witches.

And here’s some quick buy links for print/ebook and audio.

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Bookshop

Books-a-Million

Powell’s

Target

Or snag that audio with amazing narrators Amy Landon as Savvy and Luke Daniels as Griffin:

• Spotify
• Audible
• Apple Books
• Chirp
• Barnes & Noble
• Libro.fm

ANNNND I’m also thrilled to report that Not Your Average Hot Guy is on sale for the first time since it came out! You can go snag it at your etailer of choice for an devilishly low price of $2.99 for a short time.

Amazon

Apple Books

Barnes & Noble Nook

More soon. Wishing us all a get-here-now spring filled with tulips,

G

“To all of us who ever tried to twitch our noses and make things happen”

That’s from the dedication to Mr. & Mrs. Witch, my new novel out today. And, if you’ve ever seen Bewitched, or even a clip of Bewitched, I bet you know exactly what I mean. I thought instead of telling you — again — just about the book, I’d instead write about why I love witches and why I think they’re having a moment (besides that we all love them, duh)…and a little about the book. 

Say the word witch and the quickest associations that leap to mind for me are: women, power, and… burning. Maybe also…fun? Which is weird to throw in with burning. But it’s true, whether the witches in question are Samantha smoking hot or Macbeth’s ominous hags or historical women who claimed to be witches or who got classed that way, they are often women, perceived as powerful, and so people — usually men or other reps of the patriarchy — fear them and thus the burning. But there’s also the place witches bring for playful imaginative longing, for them to conjure what they want, what we want; there’s the possibility they might be in league with not the devil but each other. Friends! Women being friends! The horror. What might they get up to together?

Witches don’t fit in, even if they try to. Mostly, they don’t need to. They are outside the social order, another thing that makes them scary to some. Maybe witches in a given story are wicked and evil, maybe they are kind and generous, maybe they are both or something in between. That’s already a much wider variety than many types of characters that tend to be women (and the few female archetypes) get to encompass. How glorious! Witches are agents of possibility.

Witches and witchcraft have had a swell of popularity over the past few years, not just in books, but in pop culture and, well, real life. We have two thriving shops that sell witchy goods here in town — Creatures of Whim and White Willow Emporium (both of which I visit way too often, and plan to take Instagram live field trips to later this week!) — and it’s not that big a city. It makes perfect sense. Women and our bodies and, yes, our power are under attack. We all know this. And the pandemic reminded us of how thin the mortal veil really is. And with climate change, we’re reminded daily how little control we have over nature, and how maybe being more in tune with it might be a good idea.

So it’s not surprising at all to me that traditions that empower folk wisdom and intuition and so many other things we tend to align with the feminine end of the spectrum are having a renaissance. And it’s also joyfully wonderful to see so many books exploring this and giving us all an escape valve from a society that is literally attacking not just women but also those who don’t perform gender a specific way’s right to exist. Daily. A reminder that we do all have power in being who we are meant to be and that is what those villains — real villains — on the attack fear most. Their inability to understand us makes them want to control us.

I named the secret agent society of witches in Mr. & Mrs. Witch — which includes both men and women and non-binary people, though it’s mainly run by women — C.R.O.N.E. for a reason. Christopher helped me reverse engineer the acronym; we landed on Covert Responses to Occult Nightmares by Enchantresses. But part of the reason why C.R.O.N.E. had to be it? I’ve been saying hashtag crone life for years. Much the same way grrls helped reclaimed the word girl and so many others when I was a teen (chick, lady, babe), I am all for us claiming these words generally meant to imply women are past their prime. Crone. Hag. Because fuck that. We need a new, everlasting prime. To me, the word crone can just as easily symbolize freedom, power, flying (literally in this case) under the radar. What better name for a covert society of witches? What better way to live than saying women can be rad at all ages? (And other people too!)

The hero’s counterpart organization, H.U.N.T.E.R., was similarly reverse-engineered — Humans Undertaking Nocturnal Terror and Evil Reduction) and it’s no accident that its patriarchal leanings are part of what’s wrong with it, ultimately.

There are many ways to write about witches. Many kinds of witches to write about. Many kinds of magic to write about. And while Mr. & Mrs. Witch is on one level intended as pure, sexy, escapist fun — there are familiars that are really ostriches who glamour up as chickens for outsiders, a horse that masquerades as a toad, and yes, magic secret agents on opposite sides who fall in love — it is also about how we can come together to throw off limiting restrictions and use love to make each other better by creating new ways to be. By not being so scared of what outsiders are capable of that you try to stop them from living their lives, but instead see what beautiful new possibilities exist because they are here. Because we are here.

Also? Who doesn’t want to be able to poof a glass of champagne that doesn’t make you too soused into existence? So settle in for sexy spies and witches, hijinks, hemlock, combat brooms, and blowing up the patriarchy (with the help of a few good hunters and a lot of powerful witches). 

Snag the book wherever you like to get your books and remember leaving reviews, recommending it to others, and sharing is SO APPRECIATED and basically the witchcraft of word of mouth. If audio is your pleasure, voila:

• Spotify
• Audible
• Apple Books
• Chirp
• Barnes & Noble
• Libro.fm

I hope to see some of you at Joseph-Beth tonight at 7 p.m. for a conversation with the fabulous Tif Marcelo. Hit the bistro for themed drinks beforehand! I’ll be having a C.R.O.N.E. Potion or two.

Happy reading,

Gwenda

Originally published on Substack.

Originally published on Substack.

Please forgive any strange and bewildering formatting or typos — or the lack of same after this disclaimer. My precious, my own, my Mac Air, has been ripped from my arms after it stopped charging or seeing any of my external things last week. I have enough devices to work around it, but I’m still suspicious of “apps.” I’m a browser girl. I like browsing. I like big screens, and clicky external keyboards, and would you believe it? I keep putting my hand on my mouse. So I must even like that. Touchscreen, smudgescreen. (But literally.)

Anyway, I’m writing this on my iPad, which turns out to have been a very timely gift. I wasn’t sure what I’d use it for, but it turns out, it’s a solid “my laptop hath been ripped from mine fingertips” back-up. And I am using an external keyboard, and I have it propped on my monitor on top of two thick books that were nearby: Kim Stanley Robinson’s The Ministry for the Future, which just hasn’t made its way onto a shelf since…uh, summer…and a shiny new edition of my first real introduction to classic Greek mythology, Edith Hamilton’s Mythology. It’s interesting, because I can still understand why I found/find her approach so appealing, and yet, I also argue with some bits much more. I’ll save the arguments for when I need to talk more publicly about the book I’m writing that it is one of my research texts for. I first read this book in a mass market edition that I revisited again and again in the giant tub in my parents’ house in high school. I associate myths with relaxation in part for this reason, with a luxuriant sensory experience, a bubble bath where you linger long enough to not only get pruny but need to turn on the water a few times so it stays hot.

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But I digress.

Last week was so busy! And I say this not in a braggy way, but in a way relieved that I had finally started to feel better and so managed it. We had a film crew over at the Lexington Writer’s Room for a story that will air on KET (our PBS affiliate), so more on that TK. Make-up artist and everything. She gave me a great line I will one day use in a book, so you can’t use it, I call dibs, but you can nod when it shows up. She asked about whether an interviewee she was doing elsewhere was bald or not. “It matters if it’s complete baldness. Completely bald is like doing three faces.” I mean, fair, and nonjudgmental. She was just looking for a work estimate.

I finally got out some tiny cards and presents that were meant to be for the holiday (and I whiffed the holidays this year, sorry!). Puppy had his first training class. A plus. I started writing more, and so of course my computer had to throw its fit. And we went to an art exhibit (two, actually!).

Visiting art museums and galleries has always been one of my favorite ways to get inspired. They force you to look at things differently, to see and absorb and pay attention to what’s outside you, but also what’s inside you, your reactions and the why and what of them, in a way nothing else quite does. I always recommend taking in visual art to young writers, because I’m a firm believer that it not only makes your imagination more robust (in a way that spitting words into an AI and getting immediate gratification results never will — SORRY), more able to think of how other people see the world, and how that’s different than the way you do, and how it’s the same (which reading also does, obviously). But I also believe it gives you a more robust visual vocabulary.

And it’s fun. And can be exhilarating. Which is part of why the hush, the gentle politics of negotiating a gallery, are a little bit a counterpoint to the actual experience at times.

Anyway, all of this a long way of saying Christopher and I drove over the Speed Museum in Louisville to take in the Alphonse Mucha Art Nouveau Visionary exhibit before it closed (it’s a touring show, so keep an eye out). Some of the smallest parts were right in tune with both the art heist book I just wrote and the one I’m writing now, if in different ways. Currently, I’m writing the witchy apothecary historical and seeing the perfume bottles, even slightly past my period, and their labels, the printing on tins, because Mucha did so much advertising work, was so helpful. This is what I mean when I say visual vocabulary; I will do a better job describing now. It also can be larger things like light and color and composition.)

Those are some of my favorites.

But we also meandered the rest of the gallery, because we hadn’t visited since a huge revamp some years back. There’s so much I could talk about here, but I love this little mystery they’ve chosen to highlight, a possible fake that is traditionally one of the museum’s most identifiable holdings.

And the explaining captions:

Fake or real or real fake? You decide. I want to crack him open — gently! — and see if there’s a map in there.

The second exhibit we went to was to showcase my brilliant friend Alex Narramore’s art, which usually only gets to last in its full splendor for a wedding day. (You might recall our paranormal adventure.) She is one of the few remaining people who knows how to do extravagant sugar flower sculpture, and has built a wedding cake business on it. But when I say that, you aren’t getting it. So here’s Alex with a creation on display for “One Night, One Cake.”

Despite appearances, this was the opposite of the quiet gallery experience. It was Alex’s first gallery show, and so stuffed with friends there to support her and gab gab gab. Two nice counterpoints, equally beautiful. I met a stained glass artist and a sculptor and they were forced to agree they are bad asses, just like Alex. You’re out here making things that could just blow up or melt or disintegrate, and then instead, they mostly turn out beautiful. It feels a lot braver than showing up at the page, even if it’s kinda the same.

So go out and find some inspiration, or take some from here, my friends! And…if you haven’t preordered MR & MRS WITCH, what are you waiting for? It’s out in a little over a month!

Sharing and preordering or planning to buy or adding to your Goodreads is caring!

Preorder info: tinyurl.com/mrandmrswitch Signed preorder: tinyurl.com/WitchPreorder

More soon,

G

*Originally published on Substack — subscribe there to get posts delivered to your inbox*

The beginning of the year here has been good, stressful, good, and also, I’ve been sick since it started. Nothing serious, but something that’s requiring a round robin of antibiotics to kick, none quite working yet—this is what happens when you push yourself and don’t take a break over the holidays, kids. Consider it a cautionary tale. So I’m extra glad not to be traveling this month.

I am digging in on Wayward Sisters #1, which I had to get an extension on, see above. But which is now going really well. And I’m also trying to — well, being forced to — take it easier and not try to do all the things just now. What I have also been doing is watching and reading a lot of things. Some research, but some kismet fun.

I’ve been forced to discover some time to relax.

And Christopher rediscovered his love of sword & sorcery this year, and while I was skeptical about FANuary—a monthlong watchfest of classic sword & sorcery films, one each day in January, when he first mentioned he was considering doing it: It has been great! See, I love to watch stuff, but Christopher is very picky. (He claims not to watch much TV, but he watches plenty of bicycle races. 😉 Typically, I can get him to watch GHOSTS and WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS, our favorite sitcoms, and that’s about it, other than GARDENER’S WORLD.

BUT!

We’ve kept at this so far; skipped a few, but also had some real winners.

A few notes in the order of the photos above, not the order we watched them….

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter: Starts off with a girl admiring the terrible trauma bangs her friend has just cut for her in the woods—the friend goes off to gather mushrooms and think about what she’s done or something and VAMPIRE ATTACK! Only this vampire leaves behind an aged corpse! At least the girl never has to know about the tragedy of the bangs. This movie’s lore is fantastic, the camp is high, and it is way better and stranger than it has any right to be.

Dragonslayer: I must have seen this before, right? But I didn’t remember it, if so. Some absolutely stunning shots—which is only to be expected, given the director and co-writer Matthew Robbins has been a frequent collaborator of Guillermo del Toro (including on the story for this year’s Pinocchio) and the cinematographer Derek Vanlint did Alien too (and also a lot of commercials). A baby-faced Peter MacNicol as the atypical wizard hero is fantastic, and there’s some interesting gender dynamics throughout, plus a scene that might’ve inspired Katniss involving a lottery. GREAT DRAGON. Actually, my takeaway from most of these is that you can see the DNA of GAME OF THRONES and Peter Jackson’s LORD OF THE RINGS films (not least because lots of these were borrowing from Tolkien) in a lot of them. And also that practical effects are a million times better. And movies 2 hours or less are ALSO BETTER.

I said what I said.

Hawk the Slayer: I’d never seen this, and it’s another way better than it has any right to be movie. As the villain, Jack Palance manages to over-act and scenery chew with half his face covered. His most subdued take is the one scene where he should feel emotion. Incredible! Hawk’s team and the witch who help him are the best parts, and also, this is the first movie we watched where the women had a real sense of roundedness and agency. The abbess should’ve gotten to kick some more ass, though.

Jason and the Argonauts: This should be about Medea, who has the most athletic sequence in the movie (don’t get me started). Talus was just doing his job. The pretending to push really hard with your facial expression acting of Hercules is something I could do! As is most of the swordplay in this one. I approve of that.

See also, the first day, and the best short film of Woofie and Sally I have ever taken, sound on:

Gwenda Bond is on deadline 🧹🔮 @Gwenda

So @ChristopherRowe is watching a classic sword & sorcery movie each day this month — sound on for full effect (today is The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad)

4:58 PM ∙ Jan 1, 2023

Tonight is The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Anyway, we’ve been enjoying this so much that I put together a Romancing the February list, of movies across a bunch of different genres from the 1920s to the now, that feature a love story as a central plot element. This is NOT a HEA list, necessarily, because I wanted some variety. There are some things I haven’t seen in ages on there, and a few things that I wanted C to watch that he hasn’t (IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT, for example). Feel free to join in for some or all of it.

For something completely different, the lost part of this entry title, last week I learned about the great Anna May Wong’s The Gallery of Madame Liu-Tsong, the first American television show starring an Asian-American lead. The part of the detective was written for her, and reviews were good (and it sounds AMAZING). But the network it aired on, DuMont went under, and then eventually dumped most of their remaining library, presumably including this show, INTO THE HUDSON. I mourn. And I have time machine priorities.

At least we have two books I’m assured are fabulous about Wong to look forward to this year: Gail Tsukiyama’s The Brightest Star, which is fiction (I support the HarperCollins Union, by the way, and mention this book in the hope HC comes to the table and concedes by the time it’s out), and Yunte Huang’s Daughter of the Dragon, a biography. I look forward to reading both.

I leave with you a photo of the first full moon of the year I took, and a reminder that you can preorder MR & MRS WITCH! Out in LESS than two months!

Preordering is caring! So is sharing!

Preorder info: https://tinyurl.com/mrandmrswitch

Signed preorder: https://tinyurl.com/WitchPreorder

Hi! I’m doing a very blog-like experiment with my Substack newsletter — which sign-ups all over this site will take you to. Or you can go check it out yourself and read the recent posts.