Monsters of Academia (Updated)

Gardner_2To a greater or lesser extent, John Gardner’s ideas about writing are just one of those things you eventually have to deal with in MFA school. For my critical thesis topic–the omniscient point of view–The Art of Fiction became one of my primary source books (he was a big fan), and On Becoming a Novelist worked its way in there too, since I had a point to make about the oft-misinterpreted fictive dream concept.

I won’t bore you with talk about that. But running down some things, I came across a couple of links that might be of interest. (Jeff Ford, you studied with Gardner, right?*)

Anyway, I like this passage from Stewart O’Nan’s "Notes from the Underground," on how seeing the various drafts of Grendel taught him to revise:

I’d heard how hard writers worked at revising, but here was concrete and heartening proof.  I’d been impatient with my work because my early drafts lacked depth and precision; now I realized I had completely misjudged them, and misjudged the effort required to write well.  It was not brilliance or facility that was necessary, but the determination to bear and even enjoy the dull process of wading into one’s own bad prose again, one more time, and then once again, with the utmost concentration and taste, looking for opportunities to mine deeper, clues to what these people wanted and needed. I went back to my desk, applied myself with this in mind, and discovered that I was again writing on another level, a level that even now I’m happy to reach.

More fun is a Baltimore City Paper piece about Gardner’s infamous feud with John Barth:

As the class proceeds, Gardner proceeds to take the gloves off. Suddenly he is attacking his host, Barth, whom he tags as a "secondary" writer–someone who writes fiction about fiction. And chief among Barth’s offenses, just in case the students were thinking of buying it, is Giles Goat-Boy, which Gardner tells them is "arch, extravagantly self-indulgent, clumsily allegorical, pedantic, tiresomely and pretentiously advance-guard, and like much of our ‘new fiction’, puerilely obscene."

A few days later, the argument is recounted in The Sun, in an article portentously titled "Two Literary Lions Tangle." Barth fires off a letter to The Sun, acknowledging that he "registered, very briefly, some of my objections to [Gardner’s] eloquently expressed literary opinions because that is what seminars–indeed universities–are for." But as the letter proceeds, it sounds as though Barth believes he’s entitled to a rebuttal. What follows is a biting, if somewhat tongue-in-cheek, evaluation of his colleague’s recently published On Moral Fiction as "an intellectually immoral, self-serving, finally demalogical attack on his contemporaries, many of whom (in my opinion) are immensely more talented than himself."

It’s hard to disagree with the take of Liz Rosenberg (caught between them at the time):

When asked how significant, in the end, she thought this battle was, Rosenberg thinks carefully before answering. "I don’t know," she says finally. "There was an experimental phase in writing, which has died down to some degree, but maybe that battle untethered the way for greater freedom in writing." She does express some regret for the passing of an era when two major writers cared passionately enough to fight about the principles of their art. "Since then, battles have become purely personal and a lot less ideological," she says.

More high-minded feuds, please.

*Updated: Jeff reminds me why I was thinking that — well, besides that it’s true. A couple of years ago, he posted his introduction to the Fantasy Masterwords edition of Grendel:

I got to see first hand how he approached the craft of fiction. I’d bring him my short stories, and he would go to work on them, spending as much time as was necessary to show me the gaffs, what repairs were possible, where the fatal flaws lay, and discuss writing strategies that would help me to circumvent the same problems in the future. A meeting could take up to two hours. Rehabilitating a single awkward sentence was as important as understanding the entire structure of a story, and a story’s structure was discussed as if it were a kind of music. If there was a line of students waiting to see him outside his door, they would have to wait until he was finished, but they always waited, because they knew that when it was their turn, he would do the same for each of them.

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Sunday Hangovers (Updated)

Sunday Hangovers (Updated) Read More »

Counter Meme

And Janni Simner springs a meme of her own "because most memes fail to ask the things we really want to know" — I’m going to employ the same one word answer rule. (Compound nouns count!)

1. Have you ever killed a man? no
2. With your own hands? no
3. What, in your opinion, is the best way to transport contraband across state and country lines? Burt Reynolds
4. Even if you’re transporting explosives? yes
5. Really? yes
6. Have you ever stolen a library book? yes
7. On purpose, or only because you found it under your bed years after you reported it lost and paid the fine? purposefully
8. Where were you on November 1, 2007? home
9. Can you prove it? yep
10. You had to think about that, didn’t you? yep
11. How much is it worth to you for me to pretend I didn’t notice? nada
12. Have you spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder? (And if you know a faster method, will you share it?) no
13. Name three different ways to start a fire. Drew Barrymore, Human Torch, matches
14. Now try to convince me you only know that because you were a Girl/Boy Scout/Guide once. wasn’t
15. How many digits of pi can you recite from memory? zero
16. Did you have to count out the digits on your fingers to answer that? no
17. Did you check online to make sure you remembered right before answering? no
18. Does all this talk about numbers make you uncomfortable? very
19. Or are you just wondering what it has to do with the rest of the meme? no
20. Seriously, where did you bury the body? permafrost
21. Where were you on March 16, 2036? why
22. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too? yep (note: only because they would probably have a very good reason — smart friends)
23. What is the ninja replacement score for your life? none

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Friday Words

Via the one and only Reechard Butner:

You know the drill: one word answers only.
1. Where is your mobile phone? desk
2. Your significant other? Sillyhead
3. Your hair? blond
4. Your mother? smart
5. Your father? cranky
6. Your favorite thing? unexpected
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? champagne
9. Your dream/goal? flexible
10. The room you’re in? windowed
11. Your ex? forgotten
12. Your fear? luck
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? bedrace
15. What you’re not? flighty
16. Muffins? maybe
17. One of your wish list items? scooter
18. Where you grew up? country
19. The last thing you did? chat
20. What are you wearing? green
21. Your TV? shows
22. Your pets? groomer
23. Your computer? currently
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? tired
26. Missing someone? yep
27. Your car? cute
28. Something you’re not wearing? tiara
29. Favorite Store? Lush
30. Your summer? hot
31. Like someone? lots
32. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? PMS

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Heretical Amazon Hacking

Paul Witcover over at the inferior 4+1 (inferior to no one!) pointed to this Reuters story about a survey looking at Americans favorite books. The findings:

"While the Bible is number one among each of the different demographic groups, there is a large difference in the number two favorite book," Harris said in a statement announcing the results.

Men chose J.R.R. Tolkien’s "The Lord of the Rings" and women selected Margaret Mitchell’s "Gone With the Wind" as their second-favorite book, according to the online poll.

But the second choice for 18- to 31-year-olds was J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, while 32- to 43-year-olds named Stephen King’s "The Stand" and Dan Brown’s "Angels and Demons".

Picks for second-favorite book also varied according to region. "Gone With the Wind" was number two in the southern and midwestern United States while easterners chose "The Lord of the Rings" and westerners opted for "The Stand".

In the comments, a clever commenter named Kit suggests the following diabolical scheme for authors:

You know that you can use the bible to make your amazon #s zoom, right? Make all your friends order your book and the cheapest possible edition of the bible simultaneously. Pretty soon people who click on the most-clicked-on amazon title will see:

readers who bought this also liked YOUR TITLE HERE

So obvious, it just might work…

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Tuesday Hangovers

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Mercury Retrograde?

Today’s Annoying Parts of Life: 1) tire with a hole in it (fixed, and even for free), 2) hot water heater problems plus (with the plus upping the total to YEEOUCH 3-grand), and 3) dirty hair (see hot water heater problems) and bad sleep last night leading to a general state of fuzzy-headedness.

It’s a nice day outside, at least, and these things are minor in the scheme of, and too shall pass. Etc. (It would be, perhaps, easier if I wasn’t on antibiotics that prevent the consumption of wine. Three. More. Days.)

And now that I’ve TMI-ed you to death, here’s a happiness-inducing thing: Graeme McMillan’s list of X-Men Who Should Be X-ed Out. I’m still mulling whether I have any additions, but have got to concur with Angel and some of the other conclusions*. Your own nominations welcome in the comments.

Also, if you’re a moneybags and would, y’know, like to send me 3-grand, I have a use for it**.

*Who knew that Australian teleporters suck so hard?

**No, I’m not going post-apocalypse. I should be able to shower when I get home. Poor, but clean.

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Bravery & Admin

First, the bravery…

Nicola has an excellent article on tasers and the taser party fad up at the Huffington Post:

Apparently, many women who go to these parties live in constant fear of violent sexual assault. And they believe that having a Taser will protect them. Perhaps they imagine a hooded stranger in their apartment or their parking lot. Perhaps they imagine that they will whip out the Taser, zap the bad guy, and a few minutes later watch as the cops march him off. Bloodless and neat. Her Taser is a "safety blanket," says Dana Shafman, the entrepreneur who started the parties; if she leaves the house without one she goes "into panic mode."

But it’s not safety blankets that protect you.  You do that.

I wish every girl and woman in the wide world would read the whole piece. And the Aud novels.

(This also reminds me that she has another blog, about the writing of her next novel, which sounds AMAZING. AMAZING. Three times AMAZING.)

And now the admin…

I toggled a few new settings on Typepad. Now there’s a Share This thingie under each post, which will let you easily save stuff to your various networking/bookmarky places or e-mail posts. There’s also RSS feeds for the comments on individual posts. And some other stuff you shouldn’t really see if it works right.

I’m sure this is all very unnecessary, but it makes me feel productive.

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