Christopher is trying to finish an end of the semester project for his Linguistics class, looking at the speaking traits of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. He has designed a quick, handy online survey and needs responses from folks with an AS diagnosis OR who live with someone with AS and are familiar with their conversational style.
Anonymous, of course, and you will earn both our undying gratitude — anonymously — for filling it out. Please pass on to anyone you know who fits the bill.
My autistic friend is 15 years old and the other day he was wearing an orange shirt with green pants and he said, Do I look like an upside-down carrot? His medication had just changed so it was a wild afternoon. He spent have the time holding my hand while I drove, the other half calling me (and everyone else we know) terrible names. Bad language. Really bad. I felt like it was Quentin Tarantino’s version of Rain Man. Finally, the medication kicked in and he became Mr. Happy and started mowing my lawn with one of those push (no engine) mowers. He insisted I pay him ten cents. I gave him a whole quarter. I’m a poor fiction writer (poor defining my financial situation, hopefully not my writing ability). I would have liked to pay him a dollar. At the end of the day I drove my young friend home and just as he got out of the car he started speaking in a Russian (sort of) accent. He said, Did you not know that all along I’ve been a Russian secret agent? (I’ve known the kid five years) I said something about how well he has hidden the fact and I thought how ingenious it is to use Autism/Aspergers as a cover (instead of stupidity like the m-fer in the White House, but that’s for another time). As for my friend (let’s call him Ivan), we both said, Goodnight, Comrade! at the same time and I drove home.